Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
