So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
