My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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