i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize