He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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