there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
