We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
