How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
