After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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