how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize