I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my being single is dangerous.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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