i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
