There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
