when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You can't special order awesome
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
