butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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