my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
