; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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