hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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