i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
