there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
