It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
