Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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