I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
