I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Alive.
So much puke
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
