he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
