My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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