Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
