I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
