Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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