I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
