is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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