So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
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I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
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Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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