Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
