my phone needs a breathalizer
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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