If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
