I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize