and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
