Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
