They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
