he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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