Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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