you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it was like eating out sand paper
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
