If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
