I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize