D3 body, D1 cock
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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