what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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