I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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