We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
