he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize