his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
