Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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