I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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