I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I puked a lego.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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