suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We got so high we made milksteak
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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