I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
