You smell like stripper and shame
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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