He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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