and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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