There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
