It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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