So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
