Your tits are I can't wait for
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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