just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
