oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
