omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize