I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
