So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
