dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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