Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize