well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
try to milk me bitch
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