Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
