the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
